i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I supernannyed him into submission
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
