I only kidnapped one of them. chill
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think I have vodka in my lungs
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The Olympian is in my bed
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