The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So much rum. So many feels.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize