Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
