Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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