I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
