i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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