I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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