WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
