we're blogging at a bar
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
