you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
