I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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