At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
