Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
two words...techno handjob
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
