So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
