That's intense
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
