Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
