dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
