We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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