yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
