I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
