my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
