Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
