Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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