He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize