So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
