btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
