we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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