did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
