Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.