i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
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Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Everclear isn't food dammit
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge