I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.