You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?