I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
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I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
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when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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