He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
