Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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