I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize