the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
