its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
