"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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