There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
