he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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