the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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