with your own penis?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
