think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
