Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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