youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
