man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
