I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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