do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
