whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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