we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
