Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I can tuck mytits in my pants
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize
