guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
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I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
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Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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