Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
