yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
