I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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