I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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