worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
