the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
