He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
