There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
