The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
