It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
