There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize