Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
