haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
